Hey loves and welcome back to Single Lady Saturday! Since the weekend is in full swing, I hope everyone is enjoying a little relaxation. For today, I wanted to touch on something I love to call “The Grey Area”. I thought of this while talking to a few friends and it caught me off guard at how easy it is to slip into this situation. Honestly, I’ve done it and it was the most confusing event I’ve ever dealt with. I say it was an event because of all of the drama that happened.
For whatever reason, we tend to want to make a relationship last especially when deep emotions were involved. Now, once you’ve crept into this “relationship” what next? Technically, y’all are single and could do whatever you want since you’re not entitled to anyone but you don’t want to step on anyone’s feelings. Any and everything is open for opportunity, but if no one attempts to find clarify in the situation nothing will change.
The Grey Area comes in two categories:
- Two Individuals Afraid to Move On (Don’t think they can find better, afraid to date again, etc…)
- Two Individuals Attempting to Figure Things Out to Further the Relationship
Guess what the difference is between the two? Drum roll please… COMMUNICATION. Given that I’m an extremely black and white person, this in-between area irks me more so than many of the people I don’t like. One moment, y’all are doing couple like things and everything is fine. On the other end, it’s a friendship vibe and a little distant. I don’t know about you, but the bipolar actions in the situation is not healthy nor should it become a normal issue to put up with. If there’s anything else, I choose category 2 to deal with because each person has a clear understanding as to what they’re working towards or dealing with. Category 1 is a pain in the butt-trust me.
During this time, you have to reevaluate who’s in your circle; you know, the people who are truly there for you-specifically the person you’re dealing with. Why are you in this situationship? Do you love them enough to allow this relationship to grow into something better? Why are you allowing this to continue? And those are just a few questions that may help you figure out what to do next, but the best thing I could tell you is patience and honesty. Patience because both of you must be ready to talk and figure things out together. Honesty because without it, this whole situation is a waste of time and don’t be afraid to be unapologetically open about everything.
Let me not skip over the first category situation; truthfully, to not end up dealing with that comes with time and faith that things will be better by separating from that person. It is difficult, I’ve been through it and after nearly 3 years of a relationship, I didn’t immediately think things would get better. It’s okay to be a little depressed about things ending, but it’s never okay to continue to give yourself to someone when both of you know it’s time to let the relationship go. There’s nothing worse than beginning to resent someone because they’re not giving you the freedom you deserve since you all aren’t together. I mean, who wants to hear the famous line, “Why are you mad? We aren’t dating.” (My ex back then told me that, so trust me- let it go.) Who knows, maybe you all just need time apart and may come back to each other later or maybe Mr./Mrs. is right around the corner !
Have you ever had to deal with a Grey Area relationship, if so, what’s the best advice could you give to someone dealing with it? Let me know in the comment section below. Thank you for reading along and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed sharing it.
Talk to you later,
Leah La’Rae 😘
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