Hey loves! I hope everyone has had an amazing week and for those in school, I hope you were able to get back into the swing of things. For my seniors, this is our last year and we’ve gotta push through! Speaking of school, let’s speak on a topic that may not seem like a big deal- over extending yourself and depression/anxiety. School is the time where learning and social life combine, especially in college because there is a level of independence that one must get used to. With that in mind, there are tons of extra curricular activities that can keep you busy outside of parties. So, school work, a couple of organizations, social life, family, a dating relationship, work, bills, and whatever else life may throw your way. At first everything may be going well, but if spread too thin issues may begin; This is where I get a bit personal.
I pride myself in being organized and being able to figure out how to get out of whatever obstacle may come my way. For a long time, I had my ducks in a row with a few hiccups here and there but I had to learn this thing called Adulthood somehow, right ? Right. After my grandmother passed, the holidays and semester following was pretty tough. It became nearly impossible to balance work and school in conjunction with the organizations I was apart of, but I did it. Though it was tough and I was feeling overwhelmed, I thought I could push through the summer semester and be in line to graduate in the Fall.
I began the summer semester in a frenzy because I needed a break, but my mind was set on pushing through. I began the summer semester and didn’t make it a full 2 weeks before I was knee deep in tears from stress. My passion to write was gone, I almost dropped out of college, and I didn’t want to do anything or be around anyone. I was nearing a depression because I was angry at myself for what seemed like failing to finish my goals, as well as, failing everyone around me. Surprisingly, the person who voiced their worry about me and it stuck first was my boyfriend’s mom. All she said was, “I’m surprised you aren’t depressed with the crap you put up with” and somewhere in my mind it clicked- If she can see it, I’m not hiding this as well as I thought I was. At that point I knew I needed to reach out to someone who could truly help me.
Okay, so I’m gonna let the cat out of the bag. One difficulty of getting a therapist is openly admitting to yourself and a complete stranger is that you actually need help. Though it may be difficult, it’s the hugest step to a greater you. It gives you an open space to relinquish whatever issues you may face while receiving the advice you need to keep you moving in a more positive light. Even the days I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I forced myself to talk to my therapist and every time I came out feeling a little better than I did before. Trust me when I say, even feeling 20%better than you did before means a lot when you’re being pulled in every direction.
Another thing I’ve implemented that has done wonders is meditation. Now, let me start off by saying that I was not one who believed meditation could do anything outside of make me sleepy. After doing a little research and going through some testimonials, I decided to give it a try. Shout out to Soul Study with Shelah because without her, I would be completely lost. I began with 20 guided meditations for a full week just to see how I felt. My skepticism was put to rest when I got the hang of pushing outside of the “okay, I’m just sitting here- now what?” stage. I can’t give you a step by step on how to meditate because honestly, I’m still a beginner but I can say that it’s definitely work- mental work. Certain meditations force you to dig deeper into your subconscious while others are for relaxation only. My favorite guided meditations are with Mark Williams and Donna D’Cruz, so check them out.
Last, but certainly not least- podcasts. I don’t know why I’m so late on the gravy train but I’m thankful to be on it. Specifically, The Read & The Friend Zone. Need a fix for celebrity drama and a little political realness? Kid Fury and Crissle do that and then some. Need some wellness advice and a community of thinkers? Assanté, Fran, and Dustin are where you need to go. I never thought listening to people speak their opinion on different aspects of life would affect me the way these people have and I am incredibly thankful. They have become my friends which is so odd because I don’t actually know them- that’s how real and unique they are. Making an impact is a given when it comes to this group of people. A few others that have kept me pretty preoccupied and interested are: Meditation Oasis, For Colored Nerds, The Science of Success, and Color Full Lives.
As an African American woman, we already go through a tremendous amount of scrutiny and pressure to have it all together. As a young adult, we deal with a lot when being students, workers, and just trying to find out niche in the world while remaining as sane as possible. Taking time to get back to yourself can put you in a place of redirection and excitement because there was a point where suicide became a thought because I allowed my depression, anxiety, and overall unhappiness of where I was in life interfere with the bigger picture; and that is the scariest things imaginable now that I’m on the opposite end of things. I had to make a choice to be happy in the now: my decision, my life, my dreams and live in my truth while loving every minute of it regardless of how hard things may seem. Does this mean that my battle with anxiety is gone- nope but it does mean that I know how to work through it in a healthy way instead of thinking ignoring it will always make the feeling go away. Remember, take care of yourself and everything will fall into place, I promise.
Have you dealt with anxiety and depression from the fears of being in the slash generation or dealing with it from being afraid of not being where you expect or any other reason you have dealt with it? Let me know how you work through it and your opinion on this generations frustrations down below in the comments or on Instagram @LeahLaRae___.
As always thank you for reading. Thank you for staying with me through my time of mental growth and development. I love all of my supporters and I’m glad to be back.
Talk to you later,
Leah La’Rae 😘
P.S. If you know anyone or if you are battling with suicidal thoughts here is the number to the National Suicide Hotline 1(800)273-8255.
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