Welcome back and Happy New Year loves! I hope that everyone had a great time bringing in the new year because I know I did. Being that this is my first entry back, I really just wanted and talk to you guys. No haul, no interview, just a little chit chat. Let’s get started!
So, have you ever found yourself helping a friend out with a certain relationship situation that you’ve been in? That’s been me this past week. Ladies, I know we love him and we’ve put a lot into the relationship but sometimes I have to wonder if we do that because we’ve lost that confidence in ourselves to say no every now and again. We’re so focused in attempting to make the relationship work that we camouflage all of the negativity dwelling between two people.
I found this today as I was getting ready for work and it really hit home for me. Think about it.. Your relationship with yourself, whether it’s full of love and confidence or full of negativity and sorrow- that’s what sets the tone for everything else. I know everyone has heard, “misery loves company”, right ? So, if two people come together in misery and fall in love while in their misery, are they happy or in turmoil? Better question, if you’re miserable in the relationship why do you stay? Is it because you have someone to be miserable with you or are you afraid of being alone once the relationship ends? Let me put a disclaimer: this doesn’t just go for the ladies- fellas do it to. As I look around at what I’ve been through, I understand how loving a person beyond measure can put you in a space where you can’t help but want to work things out. I’ve been that girl that bends over backwards because he’s upset at me, but in all honesty I knew I wasn’t happy. I just didn’t think I could do any better than the guy I was with then.
It takes a certain kind of strength and courage to separate yourself from the one person whom you thought would be there for the rest of your life. It takes to to heal and build from that, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel- I promise. And no, I am in no way telling you to hop up and break up with someone just because you’re unhappy now- that’s a different situation. I’m speaking on those who have gone through the cycle of trying to keep the relationship going, but for whatever petty reason something interrupts that (notice that I said petty reason). Like I said, I know we love him and he has his amazing moments but at some point you reach your breaking point. Sometimes you just can’t bend over backwards to see him smile or stop whatever you’re doing because he’s got a petty issue with something that shouldn’t be argued about or allowing him to down talk you just so the argument will cease. Some things just have to change at some point and sometimes the change has to begin with you.
Learning and understanding what you’re dealing with begins with how you view yourself. So, if he’s arguing and annoying you with petty situations or even as small as attempting to stop you from going out with your friends – you stay because you feel that’s what you deserve. You stay because you see all of the qualities in him in yourself. Once you change those negative aspects of yourself and understand you deserve so much from him and for yourself, things will change. Ladies, if you think you deserve more- Change your view of self and your surroundings, then get the King you feel will be better. Fellas, if she’s not cutting it for you- change your view of self and cut her off, adjust your environment and find the Queen you deserve.
I’m done, I could ramble on about this topic but I don’t want this to drag on. Like I said before, I just wanted to share with you all something that’s been on my mind; just needed a little vent session about this. Tell me your opinion on this topic below and let’s learn from each other. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.
Talk to you later,
Leah La’Rae 😘
PinTheCity 